He’s been nothing but completely open and honest with me. We both have been. But I think what’s more surprising is that he is. Not because I don’t trust him, but because I haven’t had that. He says what he thinks, and he means what he says. And that’s so unbelievably wonderful.
We asked the big questions right away, and since then, we’ve just been slowly getting to know each other and building a friendship. We both know there’s chemistry and a connection. But what’s so different is that we’re building intimacy through respect, friendship, genuine appreciation, and simply enjoying each other’s company. Not just physical attraction. Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely attracted to him. But there’s so much more to it, and it’s really nice.
He doesn’t say things just to make me feel better. He’s thoughtful about what he says, and he knows I have some dark times ahead of me. Yet he’s never once asked me not to talk about what I’m going through. I still feel weird about it sometimes, almost like it’s wrong. But I’m so thankful to have someone who meets me where I’m at. Someone who, when I was having a shit day, simply gave me a hug and said, “I think you need this.”
And it’s funny because I’ve always said I’m anti-hug. But I think that was more about not wanting to make myself vulnerable or seem needy. Because in all actuality, physical touch might be one of my love languages. I don’t know. I have multiple. But there’s something so comforting about a genuine hug. And I love having my hands on someone, too. It doesn’t always have to be sexual. The caressing, scratching, massaging, just showing care through touch. Making someone feel calm, comfortable, and good. I love being able to give someone that, and I’m realizing how much I appreciate receiving it, too.
What also blows me away is that I can talk to him about things I’m unbelievably insecure or embarrassed about, and he just listens. After that day when I was an emotional wreck and let things get to me, I talked to him about it the next day. He didn’t get defensive or make me feel wrong for how I felt. He listened and genuinely seemed to appreciate that I told him.
Even something as simple as the word “bitch.” It’s a word that bothers me because of how it was used toward me. The disrespect behind it. “Listen, bitch.” “My bitch would do this.” I explained that to him, not because he’d ever called me that, but because I wanted him to understand. And now, even when he uses the word casually, he’ll catch himself, apologize, and correct it. I never asked him to change how he talks. He just heard something that hurt me and made a conscious effort not to make me feel that way.
And that genuinely blows me away. Being able to tell someone what bothers me without it becoming an argument or having to defend why I feel that way. Just being heard, respected, and seeing that reflected in his actions.
He’s also been very open about not rushing into a relationship, and I appreciate that. I’ve never really dated before. I’ve only been in committed relationships, so this is something entirely new for me. I’m learning how to simply get to know someone without feeling like it has to be anything more than what it is.
And honestly, I’m enjoying it. We have a genuine friendship, and I believe it’s good for both of us. His friendship is good for me, and I believe mine is for him. We enjoy each other’s company, we can be honest with each other, and there’s a mutual respect and appreciation that I genuinely value.
Then last night, he invited me over to build Legos with him and his daughter.
It wasn’t some big introduction or anything that needed to be made into more than it was. Just an invitation to spend time together. He’s always been clear that if he introduced someone to his daughter, it would simply be as a friend. And that’s exactly what I was.
Of course, I wanted to make a good impression. I like her dad, and she’s the most important person in his life, as she absolutely should be.
I’m really thankful I got that invite.
Not because it means anything more, but because I genuinely enjoyed being there. Getting to know another part of his life and seeing the relationship he has with his daughter was something I really appreciated.
But what really got me was seeing them together.
Seeing how patient, kind, and loving he was with her. And it wasn’t an act. This is just who he is. It probably sounds creepy, but I could have sat there all night just watching their interactions. Seeing how happy and loved she was. How comfortable she was with him. How her safest place in the world seemed to be sitting on her dad’s lap while we watched the the Golden Ticket game show.
That says so much about a person.
I think you learn so much about someone’s heart by watching how they treat the people who matter most to them. The connection they have, the love they give, and the safety those people feel with them.
And seeing that last night meant more to me than I think he could possibly understand.
The type of person he is really does blow me away. And the thing is, I’m still just getting to know him. There’s so much I don’t know yet, and I’m not rushing to figure it all out.
I’m just genuinely enjoying getting to know someone. Appreciating the friendship, the honesty, the connection, and the little moments that come with it.
And I’m perfectly happy letting things be what they are today.
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